43

Here’s a list that has 43 <li>‘s on it.

1. Can you believe some motherfuckers climbed into a giant wooden horse and left it by a castle? Then the castle dummies wheeled it inside and got jumped? lol.
2. It doesn’t feel logical, but I’m telling you, people don’t have a lot of control over obesity. It does have health and quality of life implications and I’m hopeful medical science can help with it.
3. Live and let live.
4. The primary goal of hanging out is the jokes. You can’t force it — but you gotta get there.
5. Can you believe David Carson, as director for Ray Gun magazine, found an interview with Bryan Ferry so boring he published the whole thing in Zaph Dingbats? That’s ✴▣△❋ing hilarious.
6. If someone giving you advice is named a variant of “worm tongue” that’s not good.

7. Comparison is the thief of joy.

8. You need to have people to talk to about what’s going on in your life and how you feel.
9. Don’t look at analytics unless you have a question you’re trying to answer before you look.
10. Whining about email is so boring. Blah blah you’re bad at it. Email is amazing and not going anywhere, you should get better at it.
11. If you throw or give something away you’re probably not going to regret it. Take a picture of it quick if you’re worried you’ll miss it or forget about it.
12. Snowblowing is great because you can just unleash a torrent of scream swearing and nobody can hear you.
13. The singing troll in Frozen was right: people don’t really change.
15. A good song should be a good poem.
16. It’s always something.
17. Oh c’mon things aren’t that bad.
18. You would probably be really good at that thing too if it’s all you had to do all day everyday.
19. You want syndicated content to be unstyled. The adherence to that is what makes the content (deliciously) portable.
20. Wonder why some songs are so gut wrenchingly awful? See #15. It’s more fun to think about why a song can be gut wrenchingly good though. For me, it has to be beautifully abstract, so my brain can connect it to my own powerful moments rather than trying to imagine a situation too specifically described.
21. Everybody knows bidets are ideal. But it’s the cultures that don’t use them that are the toughest. There is probably a direct correlation of how tough a people are and how crusty their buttholes are.
22. Remember when the Trump Campaign did an event at a Four Seasons but really it was a Four Seasons Total Landscaping parking lot right by a porn store. That was great.
23. Give the first people to arrive at your party something to do. Slice the cucumbers, set out the forks, pick a playlist, fill up the ice bucket…
24. My hiccups cure is to focus the entirely of my thinking on the next hiccup. I only think about what it is going to feel like when that next hiccup comes. If I do not stray my thoughts on this, the next hiccup never comes.
25. I’ve never seen a limo without assuming Burt Reynolds is in there thanks to that throw away line in Happy Gilmore.
26. It’s a bummer that there are so few financially solid paths for creators. I guess that’s not even close to a new problem what with the term “starving artist”.
27. Cold headaches seem like an awfully steep penalty for just trying to finish your ice cream real fast before your Uber gets here. Janet.
28. Sometimes I like movies where people are both bad and good. Sometimes I like movies where people are either bad or good. Books, though, they gotta be both.
29. My whole thing is mediocre ideas, showing up, and persistence.
30. Next time you’re in Bend, Oregon get the Tom Kha soup at Wild Rose.
31. I wish that whole “left brain / right brain” thing wasn’t so unproven (and likely inaccurate), it’s such a useful concept. Maybe we need a weird metaphor.
32. The urge to microwave shit that should never be microwaved will overcome me someday.
33. Speaking of microwaving, my mom always chucked cheese curds on a plate and put them in the mic for like 8 seconds. They are totally better that way. Restores the squeak.
34. Have you seen Dolly Parton’s new shoes? Neither has she.
35. Bluey is definitely going to go down as one of the great shows of all time. It’s a modern masterpiece.
36. How about that CSS huh? What a winner.
37. Isn’t it wild that we’ve designed planes that can go faster than the speed of sound? And when they do, for some fancy science reason, it creates a big blast of sound that we cleverly called a sonic boom? And that it’s essentially the same reason that cracking a whip is loud?
38. Just today I clicked the “Random Article” button on Wikipedia and it went to the entry for Bloody Dick Creek in Montana.
39. Protect the internet.
40. Did you know there is a super luxury place to stay right on Mt. Denali (20,310 ft.) just 10 miles from the summit? It’s called Sheldon Chalet and it’s pretttty high on the ol’ bucket list.
41. You ever have a part of a day where you just feel super calm? That’s my favorite feeling.
42. Did Willie McNabb ever get a good answer?
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