Water

This is how my dumb brain works most of the time.

You know how you’re supposed to drink a bunch of water, right? Three liters or something, more than most of us do.

But you obviously don’t get credit for a Coke Zero. Or a Coors Light. Those aren’t water, that’s soda and beer.

What about Crystal Light? That’s water… and then you dump fake sugar and densely flavored chemicals into it and it’s delicious.

That doesn’t count either, right? I mean it’s not that different than a Coke Zero. Water and chemicals. Zero points.

But what if instead of dumping the powder packet in, you took out some tiny tweezers and somehow only took one tiny tiny bit of grain of Crystal Light and put it in the water. That counts, right? Like you won’t even taste it. It’s not even there. There is probably less Crystal Light in that water than microplastics. I think it still counts.

What if you put in like 20 grains? Or, say, 1/10th of the packet. Have you crossed the line? There has gotta be a line, right? I mean obsessing over this is completely silly and antithetical to the whole concept of making healthy choices. Just drink more water. Drink less chemicals. But c’mon, you can’t give me this scientific measurement of how much water to drink and then not have further parameters on what counts. I just need to know exactly how many grains of Crystal Light can go into water before it’s Not Valid Water™️.

I’m fully aware nobody wants to have this conversation, it’s not fun or useful or interesting or anything. It’s just how my brain works.

So then Ruby, 6, the other day goes:

Dad, are you ever half in space?

Or something like that, and with further questioning, she meant, say you’re an astronaut in a rocket. You blast off, and for the first bit, you’re under the atmosphere, you’re basically on Earth, definitely not in outer space. But then eventually, you hit orbit or land on the moon or do whatever your plan is, and at that point, you’re definitely in outer space. So at some point, because you moved from one to the other, there must be a point where half of your body is not in space and half of your body is in space.

I asked many people (no scientists or astronauts) and people largely leaned toward… changing the subject.

🤘

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8 responses to “Water”

  1. Jason says:

    This reminds me of a comment I can remember my dad making, as we crossed some state line on our journey to my grandparents’ house. My sister and I were riding in the backseat, my parents up front. For one brief instant as we crossed that state line, I was in a different state from my parents. And that freaked me out for a long time.

  2. Colin says:

    Reminds me of zeno’s dichotomy (race course) paradox. How many times do you go half the distance to the finish line before you finally cross it?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeno%27s_paradoxes

  3. Anon says:

    Earth’s atmosphere may not abruptly stop at a certain altitude, but it’s common to say that after you’ve passed the Karman line (altitude of 100 km) that you’re in outer space.

  4. Nath says:

    That’s brilliant
    She will make a good scientist with thinking like that.
    She must be right though right?

    The continuous function theorem in maths says that if you’re below the line and then later above the line, you must have crossed the line at some point (if I remember rightly)

  5. Bladder says:

    Well, when you think about it, your whole body is in space your entire life. That’s just how my brain works :)

  6. John says:

    I grew up in a city that exists on a state line. The state line runs through downtown, down the middle of the street. It was always a bit of a weird feeling to step across that line.

    Realistically I think many governments probably have some definition of how adulterated water can be with other substances before it ceases to be “water,” at least from a legal standpoint. For the earth / space question, we have the Kármán line — the point at which the atmosphere becomes so thin aircraft can’t generate lift. Of course, like state lines or what constitutes “water,” it pretty much boils down to a somewhat arbitrary definition…

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