I was just talking to a guy, a fellow dad, and we talked about our families. He said he was done thinking about how his parenting and choices measure up to any perceived standards or what other people are doing.
We do what works for us.
There are so many little details to parenting. When do you get them to bed? What is the waking-up procedure? What do they eat — and do you all eat as a family? When? When does bathing happen? What are the rules about dental hygiene? What do they wear? What are you exposing them to? Is anything off-limits or not? Are they getting enough exercise? What happens at play dates? That, and 734,149 other things.
You can probably find advice telling you the right and wrong answers to many of these things. Advice can be helpful, so you have some yardstick for where other people are at with these things. The problem? An insidious feeling of doing it wrong.
That fella’s very honest approach of we do what works for us is a nice sentiment. While perhaps easier said than done, I like how it tosses aside any notion of not measuring up.
Does that sync up with software development teams? Sure.
You use whatever software works for you. You use what collaboration and communication methods work for you. You break up into teams how works best for you. You’re not wrong unless what you are using or doing isn’t working.
It works for so many things.
It works for exercise. You don’t have to run, just get that heart rate up a little. But if running works for you, run. There are endless ways to benefit from exercise.
It works for wine. You don’t have to drink Italian reds. I’m a Burgundy guy myself. Any sommelier worth their salt will tell you should drink what you like and there are no wrong answers.
You’d be hard-pressed to find something where listening to yourself and those around you doesn’t work.