In Case Your Mom Asks

Thank god we have McSweeney’s to give us plain-English explanation of Twitter:

Twitter seems to be, first and foremost, an online haven where teenagers making drugs can telegraph secret code words to arrange gang fights and orgies. It also functions as a vehicle for teasing peers until they commit suicide. In order to become a “follower” on Twitter, teens first must flash their high-beam headlights at an oncoming motorist on the highway.