Brain Cancer

In a recent blood test, my doctor told me I’m showing an abnormal level of some kind of hormone that may be related to a malignant tumor in my pituitary gland (which is in your brain I guess). I don’t know for sure yet though, so no cause for alarm. I figure I’ve had a good run anyway, so I’ll probably try to do something heavily charitable in the case of my demise.

Here are some worse ways to go:

1. Sharks eating you from below
2. Tyrannasaurus-Rex eats you while you are taking at shit in an outhouse
3. Tiny metal molecules in your blood are pulled from your body by giant magnet
4. Your head hits a chair while falling down in a boxing ring, coach has to pull plug after months of immobility
5. Arnold Schwarzenegger is holding you off a cliff by your ankle and lets go
6. Giant underground worms sense the vibrations of your footsteps and surface to eat you
7. Chief of crazy underground tribe removes your heart with his bear hands while you are trapped in a bamboo cage suspended over a pit of lava
8. Slipped in shower
9. Beam of focused light follows you around and burns you (ants only)
10. Were Jewish in Germany during WWII