Celebrity Causes

I read this Reuters article on Yahoo! news this morning:

The blond star of the film “The Dukes of Hazzard” still plans to visit Washington on Thursday to lobby members of Congress on behalf of Operation Smile, a non-profit venture offering free plastic surgery for disadvantaged children overseas with facial deformities.

Allow me to rephrase: American sex symbol seeks to put children worldwide “under the knife” in an attempt raise international standard of beauty. “It’s just like my mama used to say, It’s what’s on the outside that counts” Jessica recounts.

I’m picturing tiny malnourished African children with big fake “Jack Nicholson in Batman” smiles permanently sewn onto their faces.

Here are some other likely celebrity causes:

  1. Arnold Schwarzenegger, the leader of “No Hummer, Bummer”, a worldwide organization providing free Hummers to discrimination-riddled oil company CEO’s
  2. Jim Carrey, teaches teenagers displaced by Hurricane Katrina improv comedy in his organization “Just Laugh it Off”
  3. Sting teaches Arab couples tantric love techniques to help save marriages and relieve stress in his organization “Stop Terror Where It Starts (by fucking for 31 hours straight)”

One response to “Celebrity Causes”

  1. molly elizabeth says:

    gross! have you ever seen pictures of the work jessica simpson had done on her lips? i would for SURE not want any mouth plastic surgery that SHE’s advocating!

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