Could you sleep with wires glued to your head?

I went in for a sleep study last night at the hospital. I was pretty sure I didn’t have any sleeping problems, but my general doctor wanted to rule it out as a potential factor in my inability to lose weight. OK, I said, what the hell. I chalked it off as a new experience I could use to kill a Monday night. It’s not costing me anything anyway (I don’t think).

So I go in last night at about 8:30. By about 10:30 they got you all settled in and hooked up. 8 wires coming off your head and chest, four more on your legs, some tube things by your nose to measure breathing, and a finger clamp to measure oxygen. I didn’t sleep a fricking wink.

Here is why:

  1. I was in a foreign room with a foreign pillow and foreign sheets on a foreign bed.
  2. There was a camera focused right on my body.
  3. I wore a T-Shirt and cotton pants. Normally I sleep in my underwear.
  4. If the grim reaper was anywhere, it was around there somewhere.
  5. I CAN’T SLEEP ON MY BACK.
  6. There were motherfucking wires all over my shit.
  7. There was a woman who was monitoring every little eye movement I made, hoping desperately that I would fall asleep.
  8. She kept INTERCOMING me with suggestions to help me fall asleep. WTF?

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