…being a smoker, or being fat?
Here are the facts:
- Fat people are jolly, smokers are grumpy. However, fat people have deep-rooted depression based on their self-image. Smokers have glorious self-image. No points.
- Fat people will die of a heart attack. Smokers will die of lung cancer. No points.
- Fat people can’t run because they can’t breathe. Smokers can’t run because they can’t breathe. No points.
- There are more old smokers than old fat people, thus, smokers live longer. One point smokers.
- Smokers have shitty teeth from the tar in ciggarettes. Fat people have shitty teeth from the sugar in Cola. No points.
- Smokers houses smell like ashtrays. Fat peoples houses smell like delicious pies. One point fat people.
- Fat people never get laid. Smokers get laid all the time. One point smokers.
- To curb boredom, fat people eat. Smokers curb boredom by smoking. No points.
- You may be discriminated against for being fat or for being a smoker. No points.
- Smoking is expensive. So is eating three meals a day from fast food restaurants. No points.
So there you have it folks. 2 points smokers, 1 point fat people. Smoking is better than being fat. Of course, being both is horrible, don’t do that.
Plus, if you decide you want to be a non smoker for a day you can leave the squares at home. It’s much harder for a fatty to masquerade as a normal, too many fancy lights and mirrors are needed. To fight both conditions I recommend poverty.