Lazy locals disappointed at lazily constructed lazy river
Locals in Whitewater, WI were disappointed to discover that the recently unveiled lazy river at the Aquatic Center was constructed rather lazily. “The track is only maybe 15 feet in full circumference,” a heartbroken 280 lb man explained. “I can reach all the way around both bends if I stick my feet and arms out.” The pool also has a dangerous water intake, which requires constant lifeguard attention.
Other things locals disappointed in:
<ol> <li>Quarter raise in rail drink prices last year</li> <li>Crispness of pickles on Wendy's Big Bacon Classic</li> <li>Lot in life</li> </ol>