Archive for February, 2006

Technical Difficulties

I drove up to Pardeeville High School this morning to be a guest speaker in some business class about web design and to give the kids some information about how you can go about actually publishing a web site you design on the internet. Here is a list of things that went wrong: After quickly […]

Undermining Christian Beliefs

Dan Brown, the author of the uber-popular novel ‘The DaVinci Code’ is being sued in Britian by Random House for allegedly taking material for his book from a non-fiction book, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. This is, of course, stirring up all old controversy that ‘The DaVinci Code’ is anti-Christian and…blahblahblah, “undermines core […]

My Weekend

4 things I did this weekend, in order: Drank a 67oz. Margarita Laid on couch and watched 3 movies Drank many glasses of cheap scotch Laid on couch and watched 3 movies

Falling Asleep

3 Things you can do right before bed that will make it hard to fall asleep: Take a diet pill Think about your future Read the newspaper

Priceless

6 Photoshop tools that are also sexual inuendos: Pointer Hand Tool Pencil Tool Magic Wand Measure Tool Lasso Tool

Which is worse…

…being a smoker, or being fat? Here are the facts: Fat people are jolly, smokers are grumpy. However, fat people have deep-rooted depression based on their self-image. Smokers have glorious self-image. No points. Fat people will die of a heart attack. Smokers will die of lung cancer. No points. Fat people can’t run because they […]

Doesn’t Have Much To Do With Firewalls

Being fresh out of unwatched Netflix DVD’s and in need of some entertainment, I went to the theater to see Firewall last night. Despite there being some questionable tech(*) and having nothing to do with firewalls, it was a satisfying action-thriller. Mary Lynn Rajskub played the secretary in all her I’m-kinda-hot-in-an-Emily-Watson-kinda-way glory. Here are some […]

Vending Machines

Maybe someday. 10 Things I Wish I Could Buy Out Of A Vending Machine: <ol> <li>Cocktails</li> <li>Boxer-Briefs</li> <li>Crack</li> <li>Smack</li> <li>Ink Cartridges</li> <li>Respect</li> <li>Haggis</li> <li>Strawberry Fuck Your Mother*</li> <li>Love</li> <li>Revenge</li> </ol> Commonly known as discontinued Fruitopia Strawberry Passion Awareness.

List-o-Lists

Here are some great lists I read this week: Top ten reasons Geeks make good fathers. Activities That Might Prove More Practical Than Cleaning My Gas Mask Once a Month as the Army Suggests. Must-have OS X Software Other awesome things: Office Slang Chuck Norris Facts That Valentine Heart over there Funniest Chuck Norris Fact […]

TUH-365

It’s always something, isn’t it? Here are some things it could be: Just when you thought Winter’s grasp was loosening, you wake up to a 4-foot snow drift on your door step You met her, talked to her, got her all the way back to your house, but you just couldn’t seal the deal, could […]

The Following Statements Are Facts: Part Duex

Just so you know. Clowns can be scary, annoying, or awkward, but never funny No matter how old you get, your body hair is still your responsibility and if you choose to get naked in public facilities, it should be properly managed The Confederate flag was never the Confederate flag The Wreck of the Edmund […]

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