Listen, I had some flies in the house.
I had a party, it was nice having the doors open, some flies got in, and they apparently set up shop.
You can’t just wait them out. They live like a month. Too long. Not to mention I gotta imagine they were having fly sex in their sweet new pad and kicking out more flies. I’m not a scientist but I did see a few humping.
Fly extermination day had come.
I wanted to try some old timey technique at first. I had just had some luck scrubbing bugs off the grill of a truck with baking soda so I was pretty hot on a use-less-chemicals scene. I also think how much plastic we use is out of control. I’m on an all-glass tupperware thing and I’m saving my glass jars for re-use and stuff. Basically a hero over here.
The old timey technique is apple cider vinegar, dish soap, and sugar in a bowl and you leave it there and somehow flies land in it and die.
That’s bullshit. I might as well have tried singing them a song. Zero flies caught.
So I swing the other direction and buy this exotic fly trapping house thing where you put chemicals in the bottom of it and it lures them in or whatever and kills them. Notice I immediately abandoned my less-chemicals morals at the slightest failure. I’ll have to ask my therapist what that says about me, even though I already know: my convictions are weak.
So I baby bear this thing.
Flyswatter.
Flyswatters are fricking amazing. You can’t do it with your hands. If you’re mad enough you can do it with your baseball cap. But hands? It’s not happening. I’m not Daniel LaRusso over here ripping flies out the air with chopsticks. But a flyswatter makes me an instant Mr. Miyagi. A flyswatter makes you a fly mascaraing machine. They are also like 99 cents.
I don’t know about big boy flies, but Apple Cider + Soap + Hot Water does works wonders for fruit flies / gnats when proportioned right. We’ve been fighting an influx of those for a while and the traps definitely help.
If you truly want to be Mr. Miyagi, try pointing at the fly, and starting in a large circle, move in increasingly smaller concentric circles toward the fly like a slow tornado touching down. The fly should freeze in place and, if you get your angle and circles right, you can just put your finger down on the fly. Handy party trick, which is great if your party has an abundance of flies. Google isn’t turning up much on this, but I seem to remember reading before that the circling confuses their compound eyes and they don’t know which direction to fly away.
ALSO in case the swatters and circles get boring, they make toy guns that shoot salt to specifically take out flies (Bug-A-Salt) which I’ve heard work pretty well.
…Anyway! Good luck with your flies.
I’ve never wished I’d invented anything more than the fly murdering salt gun. I’m a fan but indoor usage is a little rough what with the salt on the floor and all.
Even better, if you have a piece of junk mail laying around, maybe a small magazine, you can just roll that bad boy up and use it. Save that 99 cents.
Fly tape has been my best solution. I’ve tried them all. The pre-bought fly traps work to some degree but usually smell terrible. The Fly trap, positioned effectively, seems to work great for short bursts, but looses stick after a few days. Try the tape if you’ve just got a few dozen friends to manage, hang one in each problem room and you’ll be satisfied. few dollars to purchasse, few minutes to hang, done.