Archive for the ‘Tech’ Category

PLEASE DO IT FOR ME AND I’LL DO IT FOR YOU

Wednesday, April 5th, 2006

I got a forwarded email from a friend today:

Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this….Then send it on to five other people, including the one who sent it to you. Within hours five people have prayed for you, and you will have caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

Reasons why this is the best email ever:

  1. One of four animated .GIFs is of Jesus leaning up against the world “Welcome” and sparkling intensely
  2. Christianity is resorting to pyramid schemes to get people to pray
  3. The last line of the email is “P. S. Five is good, but more is better.” which reminds me of Bukkake
  4. The font in the email is “Comic Sans”
  5. One of the emails it was forwarded to was: [email protected]

Super Terrorist Sisters

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

A couple of girls from Portage county in Ohio are facing criminal charges for making super mario brothers question-mark cubes out of cardboard and printed wrapping paper and hanging them around town. These super-cute ornaments “scared the dickins” out of the community, who thought them to be bombs. Even police chief Randall McCoy said they “could be deadly”. I guess these girls might need to use one of their extra lives.

Here are some other things we should criminalize children for:

  1. Making popcorn streamers
  2. Playing Capture the Flag
  3. Helping old ladies cross the street
  4. Rollerskating to school
  5. Breathing

More info and pictures:
– Ohio.com
– Engadget.com

Tasting the Internet

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

Mmmmmmm, abstract concepts.

If you could taste the internet, what would it taste like?

  1. Curry
  2. Hot, Hot, Hot
  3. Metallic (ironic.)
  4. SPAM
  5. Sweaty Nerd Balls
  6. Sour Cream & Onion
  7. Burning
  8. Del.icio.us

New Design

Thursday, March 30th, 2006

I’ve upgraded my WordPress version and I’m playing around with some new designs and templates. Basically I can’t make up my frigging mind. I found something I really liked and then it didn’t work right. Then I switched to this format and I sort of like it, but not as much, and now comments aren’t as integrated as I’d like them to be (but still there). I had to do all kinds of crap to get this one working and change a lot of the tagging in the actual posts to get this to work, so we’re going to have to stick with it for maybe a week or two until I get the time to find something really really nice. Thanks for bearing with me.

Here are some things you could do while bearing with me:

  1. Learn Chinese
  2. Listen to the last few Security Now! podcasts with Steve Gibson which are about cryptography and totally fascinating
  3. Split peas
  4. Draw a maze and mail it to a random person in the phone book
  5. Go camping on a river where you will write a letter to a past significant other and burn it
  6. Sniff glue
  7. Don’t look at any kind of screen for 24 hours
  8. Trim your pubes
  9. Go play a really nice guitar at a music store

Tech Podcasts I like:

Wednesday, March 15th, 2006

I’m buying into this “podcasting phenomenon”. It’s mostly crap, but I’ve cobbled together a healthy list of subscriptions that I find informative, entertaining, and enjoyable.

Here are my favorites:

  1. This Week in Tech
  2. Buzz Out Loud
  3. eMacCast
  4. Security Now!
  5. Inside Mac
  6. Inside the Net
  7. Daily Giz Wiz
  8. 2 Minute Photoshop Tricks
  9. Daily GizWiz
  10. KFI Tech Guy

For the record, I can’t stand Diggnation. I listen to some non-tech podcasts too: The Official LOST podcast, The Onion Radio News, Ebert & Roper Reviews for the Weekend, Podictionary, and the Woodsongs Old Time Radio Hour. I’m not completely into the video podcasts since I can’t do that at work or in the car, but I do manage to watch a few like MacBreak and CommandN.

Technical Difficulties

Tuesday, February 28th, 2006

I drove up to Pardeeville High School this morning to be a guest speaker in some business class about web design and to give the kids some information about how you can go about actually publishing a web site you design on the internet.

Here is a list of things that went wrong:

  1. After quickly figuring out how the projector worked and hooking up my laptop, which worked perfectly, I couldn’t seem to get myself on their network. This killed about two-thirds of my presentation.
  2. After giving up and hooking up the normal projector computer, many of the websites I wanted to show them were blocked, including the administration panels of my own websites, which I think they would have found interesting.
  3. I used the rest of the time meandering between subjects as unrelated as what bandwidth is and how CSS works.
  4. I accidentally swore a couple of times.

Well, I guess if anybody learned anything, it was worth it. At least I got the morning off of work.

Digital Pet, Yo-Yo, MP3 Player, & Secret Lover

Wednesday, January 25th, 2006

What do an outdated toy, an outdated fad, and an crappy MP3 player have in common? They are all the same thing, at least in this case. I wish I was at the meeting where this thing was thought up. I bet this is how it went down:

Struggling Low-Level Japanese Businessman: “Sir, the kids these days love their MP3 players, but they just can’t play with them in the way they could with, say, other kids or a pet.
Hyper-rich Japanese Fatcat: “Yesyes, I see. Remember that stupid digital pet phenomenon that we made billions on? Throw one of those in there too.”
SLLJB: “Good idea sir, but still, all they can do with the device is sit there and look at the screen. Maybe we could incorporate some kind of physical activity as well.”
HRJF: “Physical activity?! That will never go over well in the States. Unless… It’s more of a novelty instead of real activity.”
SLLJB: “Hmmm, what’s the stupidest, nerdiest, most outdated, and least fun toy ever?”
HRJF/SLLJB (in unison): “Yo-yo.”
HRJF: “Good work. I’m giving you new sleep tube with one extra square foot.”

Here are some other ideas for tech/toy combinations:

  1. Headphones / Ear Hair Trimmer / Magneto Helmet
  2. Mouse / Pet Rock / Paperweight
  3. Cellphone / Pocket Pussy / Squirt Gun

MacWorld SF

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

Laaaame. The new laptops are nice products, but “MacBook”? pff. That name just doesn’t sit right with me. I guess I’ll just have to get used to it. Would have been nice if they supported an HD resolution also.

Here are the products that they SHOULD have released:

  1. a 42″ and 50″ Apple Plasma. 1080p and littered with inputs (2 DVI, 1 HDMI, 1 VGA, 3 Component, 2 Composite, 2 S-Video). Beautifully designed dark grey theme. More expensive than others in it’s class: $3000 on the 42″ and $5000 on the 50″.
  2. Intel Mac Minis. Twice as fast, 1 GB of RAM standard, Built-in wireless & bluetooth, dual-layer DVD burner drive optional. Comes with FrontRow. Perfect home entertainment center addition.
  3. Horizontal Video iPod. Double the screen size to and almost watchable size. Outputs 480p over component.

The Future

Thursday, January 5th, 2006

b2f

I drove a friend to the bus station today. He’s taking the bus down to Chicago and hopping a plane to Portland where he’ll be living for a while. It gets me to thinking how far the future is away. In this huge trip, there isn’t even the use of one single flying car. I hope these primitive times are coming to a close.

Here is a list of prerequisites for the future:

  1. Flying Cars
  2. Washers & Dryers in one machine
  3. World Wide Wi-Fi
  4. Body-Implant Hard Drives
  5. Virtual Reality Porn
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