Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Value Judgements on Games

Sunday, March 26th, 2006

I learned to play Backgammon this weekend and ended up playing about 50 games in all. It’s a super fun game that I would recommend to anyone. I find myself playing a lot of games recently to pass the time.

Here are my value judgments on some games:

  1. Checkers: I like that its strategy based and doesn’t rely on chance. It’s kind of childish though and I don’t like the tension in the beginning of the game. One dumb move in checkers often has extreme game-turning consequences which isn’t my style. D
  2. Cribbage: It’s easy to learn and the games go fast. There is strategy that isn’t hard to pick up on, but could take a lot of time to master. A
  3. Backgammon: All kinds of strategy ranging from playing it safe to balls out action. Dice rolling is fun. Betting is involved. The board looks cool. A
  4. Chess: Complicated. Beginning players will be crushed by even advanced beginners. A lot of pretentiousness involved. Nerdy. C
  5. Euchre: Medium-level learning curve. Fun for bigger groups of people. Goes good with drinking and smoking and talking shit. Lots of strategy ranging up to very advanced play. Opportunities for big moments. A
  6. Su-Do-Ku: Really only one player. Attempts at making it a family game are lame. Really entertaining and easy way to kill 15 minutes. Always solvable with persistence. Improvement in skill level comes quickly. A
  7. Crossword puzzles: Too much reliance on obscure knowledge. Often unsolvable without cheating or research. Some pretentiousness involved. Can be fun if you get on a roll. Makes you feel stupid when you only know 2 answers on entire puzzle. C
  8. Minesweeper: Can be fun, but one mis-click on the mouse can really screw you. Sometimes you are forced to make a random decision which is bullshit. C
  9. Point and drink: All fun, all the time. A

I’ve had it with these snakes!

Tuesday, March 21st, 2006

Man oh man.

There has been some funny shit going on lately:

  1. South Park’s War on Scientology
  2. Snakes on a Plane trailer
  3. Hire B-List Actors to Call People With Personal Greetings

10 Amazing Television Episodes:

Tuesday, March 14th, 2006

In the past couple of days, I watched some television shows that have blown my mind. It really makes me think what amazing art form television can be. Sometimes I feel humbled to be a part of it, even as just a viewer.

Here are some of my personal favorite TV episodes ever:

  1. The Sopranos, season 6, episode 1
  2. Battlestar Galactica, season 2, season finale
  3. Northen Exposure, the very last episode
  4. The Shield, the pilot
  5. Futurama, The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings
  6. Firefly, the pilot
  7. The Simpsons, season 13, Weekend at Burnsies
  8. LOST, season 1, season finale
  9. Sealab 2021, Waking Quinn
  10. Saddle Rash, the only episode

5 Good Songs

Wednesday, March 1st, 2006

I love me some old-time music.

Here is a list of songs I am really enjoying:

  1. “Willie Taylor” by Uncle Earl
  2. “June Apple” by Foghorn Stringband
  3. “Looking for you” by Free Peoples
  4. “Exactly Like You” by Hot Club of Cowtown
  5. “Wishful Thinking” by The Ditty Bops

Undermining Christian Beliefs

Monday, February 27th, 2006

Dan Brown, the author of the uber-popular novel ‘The DaVinci Code’ is being sued in Britian by Random House for allegedly taking material for his book from a non-fiction book, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. This is, of course, stirring up all old controversy that ‘The DaVinci Code’ is anti-Christian and…blahblahblah, “undermines core Christian beliefs.” Fucking crazy Christians. The book reads like an action-packed thrill-ride super-adventure. Oh yeah, and it’s a FICTION novel.

If they are going to be pissed off about this, here is a list of other stuff you should be pissed off about:

  1. Arnold Schwarzenegger for starring in End of Days which glorifies Satan.
  2. The creators of Monty Python and the Holy Grail for suggesting that angels play horn instruments of their assholes.
  3. NBC for having a sitcom about a preacher who talks to God for guidance. Oops! They already are pissed about that, and pressured NBC to can the show, which they did.

Love me some TV

Sunday, February 12th, 2006

God I’m lonely.

<h3>Here is a list of TV shows that I have seen every single episode of:</h3>

<ol>

    <li>The Sopranos</li>
    <li>The Shield</li>
    <li>Six Feet Under</li>
    <li>The Simpsons</li>
    <li>Futurama</li>
    <li>King of the Hill</li>
    <li>Northern Exposure</li>
    <li>Firefly</li>
    <li>Battlestar Galactica</li>
    <li>LOST</li>
    <li>South Park</li>
    <li>Aqua Teen Hunger Force</li>
    <li>Sealab 2021</li>
    <li>Mission Hill</li>
    <li>Home Movies</li>
    <li>Seinfeld</li>
    <li>Good Eats</li>
    <li>Harvey Birdman: Attoney at Law</li>
    <li>Mermaid Forest</li>
    <li>The Office (British)</li>
    <li>Stargate SG-1</li>
    <li>Stargate Atlantis</li>
    <li>Arrested Development</li>
    <li>Family Guy</li>
    <li>American Dad</li>
    <li>Saddle Rash</li>
    <li>Chappelle Show</li>
    <li>Roseanne</li>
    <li>Drawn Together</li>
    <li>Monk</li>
    <li>Law & Order SVU</li>
    <li>The Office (American)</li>
    <li>Twin Peaks</li>
    <li>Ninja Scroll: The Series</li>

</ol>

adventures – alice – anxiously – asleep

Monday, January 30th, 2006

I love me some cool T-Shirts. Maybe if you are lucky and real good little blog readers I’ll post a list of some very cool places to get T-Shirts online. But for now, here is a new company that will analyze a blog for you, create a word-cloud (like del.icio.us), and put it on a T-Shirt for you. It’s a great idea, but the end product leaves something to be desired. If I wanted to look like walking refrigerator magnet poetry….I’d….get some refrigerator magnet poetry things and glue them on a T-shirt.

Here are some other cool T-Shirts:

  1. Threadless has a lot of nice user-submitted designs. Like this rainbow puking clown.
  2. The Onion
  3. Stuff on my Cat
  4. Similar to the word-cloud thing, here is a letter-cloud shirt (size based on frequency used in English language)

I wish I was a catfish

Friday, January 27th, 2006

One of my favorite bands was in town last night: Foghorn String Band. They are originally from Portland, Oregon which is cool because I have several friends living out there now, so I can plan a visit around a show. Closing up was the Wilders, who another one of those ruckus-raising power country bands. The fiddle player looked like Bride of Chucky only, you know, not as small. The show concluded with the obligatory “group jam” which was amazing. They even marched off stage and played an extra long old-time fiddle tune in a tight group right smack in the middle of the crowd.

Even if you were unable to hear the music, you could distinguish old-time music (and old folk and bluegrass for that matter) by reading through the lyrics. The themes are often the same: Drinking, Cheating, Stealing, Killing, Preaching, Old Churches, The Appalachian Mountains, Country Food, Farm Animals, Beautiful Women, Lyin’, the list goes on. With this resurgence of old-time music, I think these new bands should touch upon some new themes to bring the music up to date (and beyond).

Here are some ideas:

  1. Robots
  2. Time Travel
  3. Mass Transit
  4. Digital Rights Management
  5. Nuclear Power
  6. Unrest in the Middleeast
  7. High-Definition Television
  8. The impending Apocolypse

Irrefutable Proof (Lion Jesus wins)

Tuesday, January 24th, 2006

Corey over at Life and Sins of a Human has expanded my thinking on the Lion Jesus vrs. Regular Jesus issue.

Here are the big differences:

  1. Lion Jesus has a mane; Regular Jesus has a beard (which isn’t near as hard to grow on your face).
  2. Lion Jesus eats gazelle; Regular Jesus ate himself at the last supper.
  3. Lion Jesus has 4 legs; Regular Jesus only has two.
  4. Lion Jesus has retracable claws; Regular Jesus only has finger nails.
  5. Lion Jesus starred in a way better movie than Regular Jesus.

It seems I have inadvertently eaten some mermaid flesh.

Monday, January 23rd, 2006

You see, I have inadvertently eaten some mermaid flesh. Five hundred years ago I was wandering around one day when an old man offered me some mermaid flesh to eat so I accepted it and ate the mermaid flesh. I did not know it was mermaid flesh at the time. When you eat mermaid flesh you either become immortal or you turn into a monster. With mermaid flesh, it’s really one thing or the other. It only happens once too, if you eat mermaid flesh and turn into a monster, you can’t eat more mermaid flesh and then become immortal, since you’ve already eaten mermaid flesh. Mermaid flesh is super rare anyway, so it’s not like eating more mermaid flesh will be hard to avoid. I’m sure you’ve guessed that when I ate mermaid flesh, I became immortal. I’ve had a lot of time recently to keep wandering around trying to sort out this whole mermaid flesh issue. The best advice I can give you is to give it some serious thought before you eat strange seafood from an old man, since it might be mermaid flesh. (mermaidfleshmermaidfleshmermaidflesh.) I saw this anime this weekend that was just like this. It was kind of awesome.

Here are some things you could replace mermaid flesh with to make a whole different series:

  1. Cyclops toe
  2. Vulcan ear
  3. Unicorn penis

A Scanner Darkly

Monday, January 9th, 2006

There is a new Keanu Reeves movie coming out (trailer: A Scanner Darkly). It seems it’s going to be in the visual style of ‘A Waking Life’ (only probably a little higher budget) and with the Reeves-Requisite of cheezy sci-fi (see Johnny Mnemonic, Matrix, Chain Reaction….). Am I going to hate it? Already do. Am I going to see it? Obviously.

Here are some more ideas for future Keanu movies:

  1. Keanu rides a robot-tiger named ‘Kitty’ through alternate universes and shoots people with laser sunglasses. Shoot it like Sky Captian & The World of Tommorow (kind of sepia)
  2. In the not-so-distant future, nanotechnology starts to invade all the major industries, only it starts to go wrong and the miniture robots start eating everything they come in contact with. Keanu has to be shrunk down to the size of a molecule where he will fight off the super king Nanobot and save the world.
  3. Keanu is an astronaut from Earth investigating a mysterious space ship that has floated into our galaxy. They think the spaceship is empty at first, but then they sense a life form aboard, and it turns out to be Keanu from a different galaxy, and knows all the information about the other astronauts that he couldn’t have known. It turns out all galaxies have the exact same people in them, and it has been physically impossible to travel between them, until now… plus there is shooting and explosions and stuff.

10 Funniest Cartoons Ever

Friday, January 6th, 2006

There seems to be some confusion on this issue, so I’m here to smack the mallet and let it be known. Without further delay,

Here are the funniest shows ever, 10 being the funniest:

  1. American Dad
    It’s still pretty new, so it really could go up or down. It’s had some damn funny episodes though.

  2. Drawn Together
    I was late to find this show. I think I just assumed I would hate it, since I have a pretty burning hatred toward the reality genre in general, but this show has some serious bite. It’s pretty amazing what they can pull off in this show, I find it much more shocking than South Park, especially the episodes that air late at night where they crank up the swearing and nudity.

  3. Sealab 2021
    I stopped watching this show after the voice of Captain Murphy died, but in its hay-day (aka Happy Cake) it was amazing. Super weird, funny…and amazing.
  4. King of the Hill
    Anybody who doesn’t watch this because they think it’s just a bunch of lame redneck humor is missing out. I mean, it’s a bunch of redneck humor, but the characters have a lot of depth. It’s a family sitcom that hits closer to home than family sitcoms with real people.
  5. Home Movies
    Adult swim classic. H. Jon Benjamin knows funny.
  6. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
    Probably the most quoted television show ever. It’s like a whole show of one-liners. Plus I think it takes a lot of guts to characters made of fast food and actually write for it and make it funny.
  7. strong>Simpsons
    WTF? Why isn’t this number one? blah blah. I love the Simpsons. It paved the way for anything and everything after it. It’s had a long and glorious lifetime, but its reign is over. Some of its bastard children are now funnier than it ever was.
  8. South Park
    Watching a new episode of South Park for the first time is one of life great pleasures. Never before has a show managed to insult so many different things so perfectly. And they do it so well you have no choice but to agree with them. Plus you always get a little life lesson, which is nice.
  9. Futurama.
    I’m not going to give a big speech. If you have any nerd in you at all, Futurama is king. This show has so many layers of humor I’m sure there is tons of stuff I’ve haven’t caught the tenth time through an episode.
  10. Arrested Development
    But Chris! Arrested Development isn’t a cartoon! This is my blog, I do what I want. Arrested Development is the funniest show ever.
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