Archive for the ‘Blather’ Category

B4BY N4M35

Friday, April 28th, 2006

Awesome Baby Names For Tech Nerds:

<ol>

    <li>Metadata</li>
    <li>Prson</li>
    <li>4d4m</li>
    <li>Dell</li>
    <li>subpage.php</li>
    <li>Darth</li>
    <li>Gary</li>

</ol>

Seen at the MAKEfair

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

Wow. What is that?

<ol>

    <li>It's a bike</li>
    <li>It's a broom</li>
    <li>It's a broombike</li>
    <li>It's <a href="http://chrislists.net/?p=168">fucking awesome</a></li>

</ol>

Matrimonial Moneysaving

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

Weddings are seriously expensive. You could always go to Vegas, but even that involves airfare. Besides I always thought that was kind of cheating.

Here are some ways you could save money:

<ol>

    <li>Have your wedding cake be a pile of ding dongs</li>
    <li>Skip the booze, have the bar serve joints and orange soda</li>
    <li>Wear <a href="http://chrislists.net/?p=114">cowboy shirts</a> instead of expensive tuxes</li>
    <li>Start a bullshit "wedding consultant" business so you can write the whole thing off</li>
    <li>Not get married</li>

</ol>

What are the hep cats spoutin’?

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

A thread over at Ask MetaFilter is enlightening folks on current slang.

As a Gen-Xer, I usually find myself pseudo-ironically using “rad” or “awesome” whenever I think something is totally killer. When a friend asked what word college students use now-a-days, I had to admit that I’m officially an out of touch old fogey. I know “cool” has spanned decades of continued usage, but what are the real generation-defining phrases of today’s 18-year-olds?

<h3>Best New Slang Alternatives to "Cool":</h3>

<ol>

    <li>Book</li>
    <li>Moist</li>
    <li>Official</li>
    <li>Shiny</li>
    <li>Key</li>
    <li>Bloody Uber</li>
    <li>Unstoppable</li>
    <li>Toxic</li>
    <li>Capital</li>

</ol>

My personal favorite: Fucking Awesome

Two Thumbs Down

Monday, April 24th, 2006

Netflix has recently undergone a website redesign, adding some functional and aesthetic changes. Among them, an annoying AJAXy way of adding movies to your queue, improved “friends” functionality, and better integration for buying DVD’s. I’m not sure if you could do this before, but now I’ve been shown you can see the top 25 movies in any particular major city or zip code, instead of just the normal Netflix Top 100.

Top Four Movies from Wichita Falls, Texas

  1. Raising Helen
  2. Yours, Mine and Ours
  3. Beauty Shop
  4. Herbie: Fully Loaded

No wonder I never want to go there.

Queens Makes For Interesting Lists

Monday, April 24th, 2006

Zervas emails to point out an interesting list of facts about Queen Elizabeth. The Queen turned 80 on April 21st.

Interesting things pertaining to Queen Elizabeth:

  1. A statute from 1324, at the time of the reign of King Edward II, states that: β€œAlso the King shall have … whales and sturgeons taken in the sea or elsewhere within the realm.” This statute is still valid today, and sturgeons, porpoises, whales and dolphins are recognised as “Fishes Royal”
  2. In 2003 she sat for the first and only hologram portrait.
  3. The Queen has received many unusual gifts including a variety of live animals… Among them jaguars and sloths from Brazil, and two black beavers from Canada. There have also been gifts of pineapples, eggs, a box of snail shells, a grove of maple trees and 7kg of prawns
  4. Elizabeth also introduced a new breed of dog known as the “dorgi”
  5. She sent her first email in 1976 from a British Army base
  6. She sent a message of congratulations to Apollo 11 astronauts for the first moon landing on July 21, 1969 . The message was micro-filmed and deposited on the moon in a metal container

$12k Just for Smug? Nah.

Sunday, April 23rd, 2006

The Hybrid Accord is in danger of being pulled from the Honda lineup since customers are not impressed with what little the car has to offer. The hybrid boasts MPG ratings of 25/34, nearly identical to the automatic version at 24/34 and actually less than the manual transmission model at 26/34. But but but, the hybrid offers slightly improved acceleration and a neat little hybrid logo on the back bumper so everyone knows how Earth conscious you are. With the Hybrid Accord coming in at an average of twelve grand more than the non-hybrid models, its no wonder consumers are avoiding the car.

<h3>What else are consumers avoiding recently?</h3>

<ol>

    <li>Blue VD Vodka</li>
    <li><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gizmondo">Gizmondo</a></li>
    <li>Buy Nothing Day</li>
    <li>non-iPod MP3 Players</li>
    <li>Reduced Fat Peanut Butter</li>
    <li>Education, Sobriety, Rationality, Patience</li>

</ol>

Not Blue

Saturday, April 22nd, 2006

Colors that aren’t blue:

  1. Optimistic Red
  2. Happy Orange
  3. Great Gray
  4. Perfect Purple
  5. Fine Fuchia
  6. I’m good, how are you? Yellow

Colding, Colding, Cold

Friday, April 21st, 2006

Endgadget:

Miller will be the first domestic brewer to utilize Tempra’s self-cooling cans for dropping your drink’s temperature a minimum of 30ΒΊF on command.

Miller’s self-cooled offerings should begin showing up in finer distributors nationwide starting sometime next year, and as you can probably imagine, a sixer of these high-tech brews isn’t going to come cheap.

Score one point, Miller.

What are some other things I wish I could cool on command?

<ol>

    <li>My toast so it doesn't get all <a href="http://chrislists.net/?p=66">soggy</a> when I butter it</li>
    <li>My cocktail</li>
    <li>The bongwater</li>
    <li>Earth</li>
    <li>Your attitude</li>

</ol>

WWFSMD?

Friday, April 21st, 2006

The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is now available at various online booksellers. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the deity of a parody religion to protest the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution.

Here are some of the awesome things pastafarians believe:

<ol>

    <li>An invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, starting with a mountain, trees and a midgit</li>
    <li>Global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 19th Century</li>
    <li>Pastafarian heaven includes, at least, one beer volcano and one stripper factory</li>
    <li>The FSM is responsible for pushing objects back to the ground with the glorious multiplicity of his noodles</li>

</ol>

Olfactory Blues

Thursday, April 20th, 2006

I guess I can get into the spirit a little bit. A new fragerance from fresh:

A forbidden blend of patchouli, cannabis and rose, this sensual fragrance captures the raw energy of a man and the desire for him.

Its only $75 for 100ml.

Here are some other ways you could smell like pot for $75:

<ol>

    <li>Buy a bunch of pot and smoke it</li>

</ol>

Express Yo(reo) Self

Thursday, April 20th, 2006

A teacher at BC Charles Elementary School in Virginia has come up with a great creative project for her students: Oreo sculptures.

<h3>How else are todays children expressing themselves?</h3>

<ol>

    <li>Crying</li>
    <li>Yelling</li>
    <li>Drooling</li>
    <li>Whining</li>
    <li>Pooping</li>
    <li>Stealing</li>
    <li><a href="http://www.prisonplanet.com/children_having_sex_at_11.html">Screwing</a></li>

</ol>
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