The personal website of Chris Coyier

Why Are You So Angry?

Ian Danskin’s 6-part series digging into angry behavior and where it comes from. Start at part one.

I think he puts a pretty good finger on it. In part two, he uses an analogy where you offer someone a drink at a party, they respond with “I don’t drink” and you feel a little judged and standoffish. I know I’ve been there. Then:

“Anita Sarkeesian is that woman at the party. Who does not say, but whose presence in his mind suggests, that if he thought more critically about the media he consumes, he wouldn’t be playing his favorite games. And that if he continues playing having heard from her, it means he’s a terrible person. She never says this. She doesn’t believe this. But she makes him fear that it’s true.”

YES. There’s the rub.

It’s so easy to feel that way. I’ve felt it many times. I remember feeling standoffish when learning about sexism stuff (NOT ALL MEN). I remember feeling standoffish when learning about privilege (NOTHING WAS HANDED TO ME DAMMIT).

I’m glad I didn’t do something really stupid like record YouTube videos of myself rallying against those things. But I can (sadly) understand where that anger comes from. If you did do something really stupid like record YouTube videos of yourself rallying against those things, they can become these public relics of your anger. You get defensive of those, and the hate and anger snowballs.