Guest Author: Animals I Won’t Eat

Zervas writes:

Today my lady friend is making me dinner. She wants to use Italian sausage in the spaghetti but I don’t eat pork. Sometimes it’s hard being Kosher, especially when it has nothing to do with faith but rather an arbitrary decision. Still, I subscribe to the line item veto theory of bible interpretation. If you can decide to ignore the “don’t eat blah blah blah” part of the bible I should be able to covet or even make a graven image or two. This got me thinking about other animals I won’t eat.
The list is surprisingly short.

<h3>Animals I don't eat:</h3>

    <li><a href="">Human*</a></li>
    <li><a href="">Mermaid**</a></li>
    <li><a href="">Dolphin***</a></li>
    <li><a href="">Dog</a></li>
    <li><a href="">Pig</a></li>
    <li><a href="">Rat </a></li>
    <li><a href="">Pigeon </a></li>
    <li><a href="">Insect/Grub</a></li>
    <li><a href="">Shell Fish****</a></li>
    <li><a href="">Monkey</a></li>

*Unless I come to/wake up from a weird black out to discover I already murdered somebody; then cannibalism wouldn’t seem so taboo.

**Consuming mermaid flesh is known to cause undesirable results.

***Seriously though, I’d try it once.

****Unless its lobster and you’re buying.

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