The personal website of Chris Coyier

Archive for April, 2006

How Useful

Sunday, April 30th, 2006

“The Benchwarmer” Reviews by Professional Movie Reviewers:

<ol>

    <li>"...the best jokes are in the trailer, and the rest involve nose picking, vomiting, spitting and farting." <em>-E! Online</em></li>
    <li>"...not terrible, not terrible at all." <em>-James Parker, Boston Globe</em></li>
    <li>"...pitiful excuse for a movie..." <em>-Lou Lumenick, New York Post</em></li>
    <li>"...a movie with a nice number of laughs and an encouraging message." <em>-Pete Croatto, filmcritic.com</em></li>

</ol>

You Think You Know Me, Google?

Saturday, April 29th, 2006

Text from Google Ads in my open gmail window right now:

<ol>

    <li>Learn the "Secret Psychology" To Getting A Man Hooked For Good</li>
    <li>Howard Stern is giving away free Sirius radios. Limited Supply.</li>
    <li>Get a powerful plan for restoring your relationship with your ex. $24</li>
    <li>Get Your Ex Back With Four Simple Secrets Which Always Work!</li>

</ol>

B4BY N4M35

Friday, April 28th, 2006

Awesome Baby Names For Tech Nerds:

<ol>

    <li>Metadata</li>
    <li>Prson</li>
    <li>4d4m</li>
    <li>Dell</li>
    <li>subpage.php</li>
    <li>Darth</li>
    <li>Gary</li>

</ol>

The Magical Fruit

Friday, April 28th, 2006

A recent article on BBC News reports that scientists have developed a method of creating “super-nutritious but flatulence-free beans”.

Beans are a cheap and key source of nutrition especially in the developing world, but many people are thought to be put off by anti-social side-effects.

That puts a funny/tragic picture in my mind of one of those people living next to a dirty river in a little shack made out of trash with flies buzzing around their head refusing to eat beans because it will make them fart.

I love beans. Rice N Beans is one my my mainstays and favorite dishes. If they can keep this up, we won’t have to worry so much about the declining quality of fruits and vegetables.

Best kinds of beans:

<ol>

    <li>Black</li>
    <li>Kidney</li>
    <li>Green</li>
    <li>Baked</li>
    <li>Jelly</li>
    <li>Magical</li>

</ol>

All Seeing Screen

Thursday, April 27th, 2006

I read in a Slashdot article yesterday that Apple has patented the concept of a display that is capable of taking pictures as well as displaying them.

The clever idea is to insert thousands of microscopic image sensors in-between the liquid crystal display cells in the screen. Each sensor captures its own small image, but software stitches these together to create a single, larger picture.

I think that sounds like a pretty neat idea, but the only applications of its use I have heard is for teleconferencing and to save space in cellphones / PDAs. Sure seems like a lot of trouble just to avoid a tiny little camera at the top of your screen.

How else might this technology be used?

<ol>

    <li>To spy on employees</li>
    <li>To take upskirt photos at those restaurants with TVs in the floor</li>
    <li>To sell at an insane markup and make mad profitz</li>
    <li>To allow Apple to record everything you ever do and <a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47468">sell it back to you for $1.99</a></li>

</ol>

Seen at the MAKEfair

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

Wow. What is that?

<ol>

    <li>It's a bike</li>
    <li>It's a broom</li>
    <li>It's a broombike</li>
    <li>It's <a href="http://chrislists.net/?p=168">fucking awesome</a></li>

</ol>

Matrimonial Moneysaving

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006

Weddings are seriously expensive. You could always go to Vegas, but even that involves airfare. Besides I always thought that was kind of cheating.

Here are some ways you could save money:

<ol>

    <li>Have your wedding cake be a pile of ding dongs</li>
    <li>Skip the booze, have the bar serve joints and orange soda</li>
    <li>Wear <a href="http://chrislists.net/?p=114">cowboy shirts</a> instead of expensive tuxes</li>
    <li>Start a bullshit "wedding consultant" business so you can write the whole thing off</li>
    <li>Not get married</li>

</ol>

What are the hep cats spoutin’?

Tuesday, April 25th, 2006

A thread over at Ask MetaFilter is enlightening folks on current slang.

As a Gen-Xer, I usually find myself pseudo-ironically using “rad” or “awesome” whenever I think something is totally killer. When a friend asked what word college students use now-a-days, I had to admit that I’m officially an out of touch old fogey. I know “cool” has spanned decades of continued usage, but what are the real generation-defining phrases of today’s 18-year-olds?

<h3>Best New Slang Alternatives to "Cool":</h3>

<ol>

    <li>Book</li>
    <li>Moist</li>
    <li>Official</li>
    <li>Shiny</li>
    <li>Key</li>
    <li>Bloody Uber</li>
    <li>Unstoppable</li>
    <li>Toxic</li>
    <li>Capital</li>

</ol>

My personal favorite: Fucking Awesome
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